Today marks my little mans official 2 weeks out of the security of my belly. There has been plenty of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, mistakes and achievements. I’ve been completely blessed with an amazingly supportive husband and a sweet baby boy. But, how did we get here? You ask. Well let me tell you my birth story, it went nothing like I had planned… But it was all worth it in the end.
Sunday went by as usual. Church, lunch out, a little bit of shopping and then relaxing at the house. My mother in law and grandma in law had come into town in anticipation of the new arrival so we had a busy day. Around 8 pm Luke went to bed and as I chatted on the phone with my mom I felt a strange tightness in my belly followed by a tight cramping sensation. It lasted a little bit and I thought nothing of it. I told my mom goodnight and that I’d call her the next day, she asked, as always, if I felt anything different and I said of course not. This kid wanted to never get out! … Little did I know that pain I had felt would soon return. Within a couple of minutes another sharp pain hit me and I gave in to the idea of contractions. I pulled out my timer and saw a pattern. At 1 minute in length and 5 minutes apart. I told my mother in law and we decided it would be a good time for a walk, maybe that would get things moving! We came back 30 minutes later and my contractions picked up. Here is where it gets a bit TMI… My contractions were 1 minute in length every 4 minutes, but with every contraction I felt the want to poop, and boy did I! My body cleaned itself out! My mother in law even came and knocked on the bathroom door to make sure I was ok after being in the bathroom for 45 minutes. When she realized what was going on she quietly went and packed her own hospital bag. However, I was in denial. This couldn’t be it, Michael didn’t want to come out yet… He was a stubborn little boy who wouldn’t even let the ultrasound technician get a good picture of him. SURELY he wasn’t going to come before his actual due date. After my pooping fiasco I walked my hallway for a little while and realized my contractions were 1 1/2 minutes in length and 3 minutes apart, so I decided that maybe I should pack my own bag. I tried to quietly pack my hospital bag without waking Luke up but that soon became impossible. As my contractions hit harder I found myself moaning and loudly breathing through them. I woke Luke up and told him that if my contractions stayed at this rate we would leave for the hospital by 11:30 pm. But with the next contraction I changed my mind and told him to get up, NOW. Luke takes Ambien for sleep however, and waking him up only 2 hours after taking a pill isn’t all that easy. He packed his bag slowly and I decided to get in the bathtub to calm myself down a little. WORST IDEA EVER. When he was finally ready to leave, I didn’t want to get out! Eventually I did and we tried to quickly leave. The last thing I remember in my house was Luke being on the phone with his supervisor letting him know he probably wouldn’t make it into work the next day. A contraction hit me hard and I loudly moaned through it, then I heard Luke say “Yeah that’s my wife, I think I gotta go.”
Being in the car was the most uncomfortable thing. Luke drove too slow, he drove too fast, he took the turns too sharply, he didn’t take them quick enough. I needed to get out. At one point he tried rolling my window up and I almost punched him in the back of the head. Thankfully the car ride wasn’t long and soon we arrived at the hospital.
Unfortunately we had to go through the emergency room. I had 3 contractions in the short amount of time we were waiting for someone to help us. I ended up telling Luke to get someone or else I would scream. He found someone who could get me an escort to labor and delivery. Unfortunately again, it turned out to be the rudest person they had working that night. As we walked to the elevator he told me I couldn’t have a contraction or else he would stick me in a wheelchair. (As if I could just tell my body to stop.) Of course when we got on the elevator I had a contraction and I quickly kneeled to breathe through it, he told me to get up and not do that again. I told him to fuck off. This wasn’t the time for his stupid comments! Once I was in L&D I felt much more comfortable. They put me in a small watch room where I was hooked up to a monitor tracking my contractions. This is when it became all a blur, with each contraction getting stronger and closer apart I went into a trance. I was focusing completely on my breathing and getting through each contraction.
Contractions are painful. Everyone said that they were different, that it wasn’t pain, it was a wave of strength and pressure. YEAH RIGHT! It hurt! It hurt A LOT. It wasn’t cramping or pressure or anything, it was my entire body twisting itself from the inside out. In fact, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of finishing out my labor and delivery all natural. But, I kept going, I wanted a natural birth. I WAS GOING TO HAVE A NATURAL BIRTH. No matter what it took.
I opened my eyes once only to see my mother in law taking a picture of me. I snapped at her. “Could you not!?” I closed my eyes back up and tried to get through the next contraction. Every couple of minutes saying to myself, “I just need to get in a shower or bathtub.” I was craving warm water.
Next thing I knew we were headed towards an actual delivery room. It had a shower! I got in straight away and until 2 am I went back and forth between the comfort of a hot shower and the uncomfortable delivery bed where I would get strapped onto the monitor. I hated that monitor. I hated being strapped down. I was checked, only 3 cm. I laid on my side and held Luke’s hand and tried to get through the next contraction. I tried to listen to Luke’s encouraging words. I tried to think of my son coming soon. I tried to think of my want for a completely natural delivery. I wanted everything to go as planned.
My contractions were on top of each other. There was no break between them! I could barely catch my breath before the next one hit me. They weren’t coming in waves either. It was hell basically. The contraction would start and get really strong, then slightly better as if it was passing and then it would spike way up again, and then start to slow down and then once again a good strong kick. Then I would get a slight break and again we went… All of a sudden my body pushed, HARD, and my water broke. It sort of freaked us all out though, we weren’t expecting such a gush! It was like someone had thrown a gallon of water down!
It was such a relief because I knew it meant my labor would only go faster now. But it also brought on a whole new level of intense contractions. My body immediately started to push, and it pushed with every contraction with all it had. The pain was incredible. I begged my mother in law to get the nurse, I needed the epidural. RIGHT NOW. I knew my body was going to hurt itself, my cervix would tear if I allowed my body to keep pushing. The nurse came in to check me and call the anesthesiologist. I was only at 5 cm and she kept telling me to quit pushing. I almost slapped her. I finally told her to shut up because I wasn’t intentionally trying to push. I couldn’t stop my body. I was trying to breathe and focus on relaxing my body. Nothing helped though.
When the anesthesiologist came in, angels sang. Finally, relief. Luke helped me sit up in bed and within 15 minutes I was laying back in bed feeling amazing. I was completely numb, I could breath, I didn’t know whether or not I was having a contraction. My body was at ease. Thank God! The epidural was heaven sent.
I hung out with Luke and told my mother in law to go ahead and run home to grab her charger, my phone, and some coffee to keep herself and Luke awake. I mean, the epidural was sure to slow down my labor. It was only 3:30 am. I probably wouldn’t have Michael until noon!
But, once again, Michael had other plans. The nurse came in again around 4:15 to check me again and see if I wanted to start a Pitocin drip. SURPRISE! I was fully dilated and ready to push. Luke and I just looked at each other like, “Wait. What? Where’s mom? She’s gonna miss it!” Next thing I know, my doctor has arrived and my legs are in stirrups and thankfully my mother in law walks in with my first push. 15 minutes and 3 sets of pushes later and my sweet baby Michael Reagan made his grand entrance!
I can’t believe he finally came! I can’t believe how quick my labor was. I can’t believe how painful and harsh it was. But it was amazing.
My mom flew in later in the day and Luke and I enjoyed quiet time as a family of 3.
I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again, but once I saw my son, I forgot everything.
He is perfect! We are so blessed.